Boredom

Time flies so fast…!!

I’ve been busy but honestly I have no idea what

I’ve been busying myself with*.*!

Well…I do know…working@ school and all

but its just seems so BORING and MUNDANE.

Life doesn’t seem that fulfilling the past weeks and

somehow, I realise, God has also been left out of my life.

I didn’t pray that much. didn’t read His Word that much. Somehow I allowed boredom and (probably laziness) to

get a hold of me.I did read up a little about the psychology of boredom online (just a little…before i got BORED of

reading it. HAHA). And its really dangerous to be bored. Many people do alot of stupid things just to kill boredom.

Statistics show that boredom can lead to things like vandalism, drug-taking,

crime etc.

On the OTHER side..I feel many people also REFUSE to do anything because they’re bored (yes. boredom doesn’t ALWAYS motivate you

to do something. sometimes it just broods laziness and disinterest that u just want to stay bored although u’re bored…

hahah! get it?)

It IS dangerous to be bored*.*…

And from my current reflection…it IS dangerous to my spiritual life.

I get disinterested with things that even the things of God are not an exception.

GDNESS! DO U KNOW HOW SCARY THAT IS?????

I find that the past few nites before I lay my head to sleep…

I chant the “God, I’ll read your Word tomorrow” prayer.

And I’ve been SHORT-CHANGING HIM!!!!

argh. My boredom bred laziness…it bred procrastination..and it is

subtly  pulling me away from God. Thank God the Holy Spirit brought this issue

to my mind and I when I started to open my eyes and take a look at my situation,

I’m taken aback that such a seemingly harmless attitude towards life is actually a temptation

to stop me from worshipping God.

that I go “yah yah God I know u’re there.okay.hallo.bye.Zzzzz”

hohoho…its time to be interested in God once again!!!=]=]=]

Thank God its Saturday!

*heaves a BIG sigh of relief*

I am so glad its saturday. My week was crazy tight and packed…from Monday ALL the way till Friday 1159pm!!

I’m currently working under an events company just for this specific project…

So it’ll be shooting and editing in the day (office hours)…

And then back home again to edit my own stuff.

And its just been a whole tiring journey this week because of the lack of sleep to catch up with work overload

that sometimes I think I might have brought onto myself.

Sometimes I think, I should stop doing too many favours…because i do not have anything much to gain.

Probably a big “thankyou” and maybe a meal but nothing worth the amount of time spent on the project.

And many people say that its stupid of me to do favours. That it cheapens my products etc.

In the beginning when I first started…I wasn’t confident to charge much for my services…

But now…thats not the case. Now, i find myself WANTING to help those people I love.

That if I have the skills to help them or bless them, I don’t mind spending the wee hours

staring at my computer. Makes me struggle between balancing “using my skills to bless someone” or

“using it to put food on the table”.

I’m still thinking lah…but whatever the case…the amazing thing is (THANK GOD!) there

are projects coming in with monetary returns. Not a lot. but sufficient=]. Well, there are a few

asking for no charges…I find it easier to say no when I do not know the person.

But when I do, my heart just goes all out and really want to help. Just to bless them.

Though they do not know the sacrifices underneath it all (not to boast)…but i’m fine with it.

Somehow it all disappears when they see the video and smile. I really hope God can work through

me to my friends (or the new friends that i’ve made). I really hope my sacrifices will pay off for the kingdom of God.

Sometimes…it doesn’t SEEM so…

I want to think so…that God is doing a work. somehow.

Maybe i’m too naive to think this way. Many concerned people shoot back and say that i’m just

allowing myself to be taken advantage of. People just want the product and they will totally

forget or not bother about how much time you have put in it (even if its not an exceptionally good product. Time in itself is a big sacrifice nonetheless).

sigh. I’m really not sure. But at the end of the day. I believe God has nurtured and provided me opportunity to nurture these skills.

And I do often pray that God will use my skills to bless people. To build up the church.

So in a sense I guess…this is ministry?

I don’t know. I don’t think like the world does. And i struggle to think maybe I’m foolish to not think that way.

But still…i do think this way.

If there’s anyone in need (in NEED)…and I can help in anyway. I want to.

God will provide.

Sounds foolish ya? i think so too^^. haha!

random update.

I’m super tired today. PHYSICALLY. I just got back from shooting handball tournaments (photography).

Sports Photography is no joke man…

Oh the other hand, I thank God I’m given this opportunity^^.

As I was shooting..although i’m paid (like its for work), and I know I’m not that good @ it (tt I’m still learning),

I didn’t feel pressured. I was more excited and hopeful to learn. I REALLY see this as God’s opportunity to

nurture my skills.

I thank God though that I didn’t break the lens of the camera too!!

( I rented a Zoom lens.70-200mm.BIG and HEAVY)

(Was really praying hard the ball don’t come flying towards me)

okay. I’m really tired.

I just posted this because I want to thank God today for today=].

Thank You God.